ok, lilah is six months old. which to me means we haven't had sex in over six months. (we stopped at the end of 8 months because it was sort of like "lolz, you gotta be kidding me!")
the first two months i couldn't (and definitely didn't want to), and for awhile i was afraid it was going to hurt...but now i just don't know how to get my drive back at all. we are both so tired every day and i just don't see how to make time for intimacy.
any suggestions? and if you don't mind sharing, how long did it take you to get back to where things were before? (although i'm sure they never go back completely to how they were)
Well Madeline is 8 months and it's not like it was before. A lot of it is time, and tiredness. Even with her sleeping through the night for a few months now, we are both just exhusted at the end of the day. Honestly, for us at least, we had/have to make it a point to be intimate, even through the tiredness. We put the kids to bed, pour a few glasses of wine, in the begining it was like a whole bottle, watch a movie. Usually by the end of the movie/wine it's a little easier and we both feel pretty amourous (sp?). As hard as it is you have to make ech other a priority.
I *still* don't have my drive back, and my "baby" is 3 and a half! I'm just exhausted at the end of the day, and the only thing I want to do is sleep! I aksed my doctor about it, because I think it pretty much sucks that all men have to do is grab some Viagra or something if they want to get the old flame a-burnin'. What do they have for women? Lube. Oh yeah, that helps........ Guess they just figure women don't *need* to want it. We just need to lie back and take it. I know it's very frustrating for both of us, and the doctors don't seem to care much.
i really really had to work at getting it back. we were sexually active up until i had mercie, but afterward, i felt unattractive and fat and really uncomfortable with my "area" so i didn't want him looking or touching and for the first few weeks of being intimate again, it did hurt a bit. i just had to dive in. what really helped in my case, i would let mercie fall asleep during the early evening when neither of us were all too tired yet, just long enough for a quickie. something about the rush and ripping the clothes off was just a big boost. then when we were done, i would wake her up and it didn't effect bed time.
I know it's very frustrating for both of us, and the doctors don't seem to care much.
