how do you do it? everyone i talk to either has an easy as pie baby, or tells me their baby got better at x months. (and every time i hear this, she surpasses this and still continues to be finicky) lilah is awesome, and i love her to pieces but some days i am ready to pull all my hair out. she will be 10 mos tomorrow but still does not sleep through the night, and in fact, was up for three hours yesterday pissed because i am trying to nightwean her. some of my sanity has been restored because my husband is now taking turns with me on getting up with her, but i don't remember the last time i had a good night's sleep.
i don't have a lot of advice for you since I have only been a mom for 2 months but, i will say, that no baby is easy as pie and people are probably just saying that. All babies can be difficult and trying sometimes. All babies wake up and parents that say their kids are not waking up are 1- sleeping through it or 2- letting them cry it out
No baby can sleep from 7pm to 7am every single night without waking up. We do get the occasional sleep all night, which is a blessing. Camille wakes up once, sometimes twice for bottles at night and she is 11 months. I have a friend whose 17 month old wakes up at 3am for a bottle. I am glad your hubby is helping you at night; it can be so trying. You are a good mom and all babies sleep habits are different.
IMO difficult babies have their easier times, and easy babies have their difficult times. Everything changes so quickly, what worked a month ago won't now, and vice versa.
She could be on the cusp of a major physical or congnitive milestone. Or she could just need to nurse for comfort to get back to sleep. Breastfed babies do tend to continue night wakeups to eat until they're a bit older (think the general consensus is up until 12 months), but she'd probably only need to nurse for hunger once in the night or so at this age, especially if she's getting solids during the day.
The point of CIO is for the baby to learn to self-soothe, but that can be accomplished in other ways for sure. I don't know what your sleeping situation is (co-sleeping, in her own room, etc), but maybe some more specifics would help? What techniques have you already tried?
You might want to get the book "The Baby Whisperer." I used it from the day my daughter was born so that I wouldn't have problems, and it seemed to work. I used the same methods w/ my next son, and it also seemed to work. They both slept through the night within a couple of months and were able to get themselves back to sleep on their own if they woke up.
I think at her age, it isn't hunger that is getting her up at night since she's on solids. I think it's habit (and a bit of a control issue). I'm sure you already know/do this, but stuff her little face to bursting before bedtime (feed her then do something soothing and calming like rocking her) and then put her down. My little guy had a rough time w/ a quite room, so I had a cd of ocean noises playing 24/7 in his room for about 2 years. He always seemed to sleep all night at the beach house, so I figured it wouldn't hurt! I guess they like the white noise.
thanks. i will check out the baby whisperer. i do try to stuff her at night. i feed her dinner, then nurse her, then offer her a bottle just to see if she is still hungry. (i space these out, obviously) then rock her for a couple of minutes till she seems sleepy, then put her in her crib. she has no problems going to sleep initially. (except for nap time where she fights it because she wants to be awake!)
the only time she does sleep through the night is when she is having a really bad day. ie, crying all day, fussy, etc. because i think she just gets worn out. she takes two naps a day (morning for about 45 mins to an hour, afternoon for about an hour to and hour and a half) and i'm thinking of taking away the morning one, but she gets so tired and lays her head down while playing in the morning...
and elle, you are right..she does have easy moments. i don't mean to be all gripey. she is good while we play downstairs. (which is all day beside when she naps)
mika: thank you for saying that.
i think part of me is also getting cabin fever from this weather.
I didn't mean "all difficult babies have their good moments" in a condescending way at all! I'm so sorry! I just meant that even people with 'easy' babies have difficult babies, and if they say otherwise they are liars. I don't think you sound gripey - sleep deprivation is one of the most difficult things to deal with, even if you aren't dealing with a baby on top of it.
Have you seen the Happiest Baby on the Block DVD? From what I hear, the book kind of sucks but he DVD is awe inspiring. It's intended for babies in the fourth-tri phase, but if you can find it at the library or something the techniques might be worth a try.
I agree with MissMee that her wakeups are likely out of habit, and she just doesn't know how to soothe herself back to sleep. I think that any kind of sleep training is going to be protested, so it will probably get worse before it gets better just because it's a change to the routine. I don't think that means you have to let her just CIO though, if you're uncomfortable with that. Will she not stand for any kind of check and console from you? Do you think she'd make use of a paci or bottle of water left in her crib at night?
HI Erin- I thought of you as I read a book yesterday and today. It is a really easy read and it is called The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep through the night.
SHe talks about naps, having a lovely, sleep associated words to say every night, having a routine, massage, white noise, music, different plans for wherever you and the baby are at, (cosleeping, breastfeeding, crib sleeping, bottle feeding, pacifiers, etc.)
Anyway, i found it an interesting quick read and I thought it would help you.
We are introducing more of a routine at night--(-quiet play in room, book, massage with lotion, a lovely with her bottle and cuddle time, sleep associated words---shhhh shhhh nite nite shhhhh shhhhh.)
Here is the review-
Elizabeth Pantley's the no-cry sleep solution will be a welcome read for those parents who are concerned that their baby may not be sleeping well.
Among the most helpful advice this book offers is educating parents about realistic expectations for sleep and helping them decide if they really do have a problem.
Is your 6 week old waking up 2-3 times a night to eat? Then rest assured that is normal.
Is your 6 month old waking up twice for feedings, but you both wake up in the morning wll rested and happy? Then that isn't really a problem either.
Or are you a parent who really doesn't 'relish' waking up several times at night to feed your older infant? Then the solutions in this book will help your baby sleep better. Unlike other 'no-cry' experts who simply say to accept your baby getting up at night, Elizabeth Pantley offers real advice and solutions.
Like most sleep books, she recommends that you:
Develop a Bedtime Routine
Establish an Early Bedtime
Follow a Flexible Yet Predictable Daytime Routine
Have Your Baby Take Regular Naps
and most importantly, Help Your Baby Learn How to Fall Asleep Without Help
Almost all sleep books talk about bedtime routines, sleep associations, and getting kids to fall asleep on their own, but Elizabeth Pantley does a good job of explaining why this is important. Imagine that your baby 'falls asleep rocking, nursing, sucking a pacifier' and then enters a light sleep phase and notices that everything is different from when she fell asleep. Is she likely to keep sleeping or wake up? Of course she is likely to wake up.
The no-cry sleep solution will also help you to 'Change Your Baby's Sleep Associations' and 'Help Your Baby to Fall Back to Sleep on His Own' after he wakes up, whether you are breastfeeding, co-sleeping, or going back to sleep in his own crib.
This book also encourages you to log your baby's sleep, so you understand your baby's sleep associations and where any problems might lie, and to create a 'Personal Sleep Plan' that you will follow for ten days at a time until your baby is sleeping well.
Unfortunately, I think that 'no-cry' is a bit of a misnomer. Your baby will definitely cry less, or maybe not at all if you are quick to respond to her with these ideas, than if you were using the Ferber method, but she may still cry sometimes. In fact, in Chapter 4, the words 'if she wakes and cries' are used at least five times. And at other times, other words are substituted for crying, like 'fusses' and 'struggles.' This doesn't make the book any less useful, but don't be surprised or discouraged if your baby does indeed still cry a little as you help her learn to sleep well. I think no-cry refers more to the fact that you won't be leaving your baby in her bed to cry by herself, then to that she will never cry at all. It may sound like an obvious thing, but I think that confuses many people, especially those who don't think to try a no-cry method like this.
This also helps to illustrate that this isn't going to be a quick fix. Elizabeth Pantley's methods take time, so be patient. If things aren't working, review your plan, make any necessary changes, and then try again.
mercie was a difficult baby. for the first 3-4 months, she was allways cranky and crying and not a happy kid at all. she started being more happy and playful after that, but she didn't sleep through the night until she was almost 2. she would wake up 8 or 9 times a night half the time not even hungry, just to cry. she is still pretty difficult half the time. she never gets to play with kids her own age, so she is around my sister and cousins all the time, and they are all teenagers, so she has a monster of an attitude half the time. she actually slapped my hubby yesterday. she won't eat anything but mac and cheese and dinosaour chicken (costco). but the other half the time she is so sweet and so well behaved and amazing. she is like dr jekel and mr hyde. i have to say though, i am extremely gratefull that she is usually really really good when we take her out. we can take her to dinner, or to peoples houses or parties etc and she is really good. she knows to be on her best behavior at least when she is out.
the only advice i have is maybe for when she gets older, mercie really calms down and loses the attitude and starts acting like a 3 year old when we do crafts together. we scrapbook together and if we take one of my days off and spend a good 2-2 1/2 hours scrapbooking, it puts her in a really good mood for the rest of the day. and when i let her cook with me.
when she was a baby, she would calm down to the rolling stones and that was it. but, she did sleep with us until she was almost 1 and we finally decided that her sleeping with us was making it worse, as far as her waking up at night. so we moved her to a play pen at the foot of the bed and it was terrible. as long as she could see us, she would wake up and cry for an hour before falling back asleep. so we moved her to her crib in her room. after 3 days of her crying herself to sleep, she woke up half as much as she did sleeping with us. she woke up only 3 or 4 times a night until she was almost 2 and she started playing instead of crying and we wouldn't know she was awake half the time. i figured out that as soon as i stopped going in to her room when she would wake up, she would just call me for a minute, not crying, just calling me, she would start sleeping all night. now she puts herself to bed.
elle- i didn't think you were being condescending at all! don't worry 'bout it!
mikababy- i just requested that book from the library! thanks!
tashina- i am a bit worried she is going to be a difficult toddler as well
i do have good news to add that the last two nights she woke up and put herself back to sleep without me rocking her. she got up, stood up in her crib, cried for like 30 seconds then played with one of her crib toys and laid herself back down to go to sleep! it has been SO nice. i am hoping this isn't a fluke.
