i know many of us are either pregnant or just had their first, but i'm wondering how many have more than one child and how far apart are they in age? did you plan it that way or did it happen that way due to circumstance you weren't expecting? and for those of you that are pregnant or just had their first, do you plan on having another or having an only?
we have one son, he's 3 3/4. my husband and i couldn't even THINK about having another child until our son was about 3 without rolling our eyes or violently shaking our heads, "NO WAY!". we adore him more than anything but based on his personality we were pretty convinced that we'd have an only child. but things change, i guess. now that we've talked about it and are comfortable with the idea of having another it's taking longer than expected pushing the age gap further and further apart. if i were to get pregnant next month, my children would be 4 1/2 years apart, which i actually think is pretty ideal (for us — obviously each family is different and their idea of "ideal" is different.) our son has always been more work than other children. we recently found out that he has sensory processing issues, which explains a lot of the reasons we feel like he's so "high maintenance" compared to other children and as a result i'll be taking him to therapy once a week to work through it as well as working through a program at home each day. most parents with kids this age are waving goodbye to them at preschool right now and going off to enjoy 2+ hours of quiet(er) time and i'm having a HUGE challenge finding a preschool that's even going to work for us. i don't know what i'd do if i had a baby or a toddler as well!
i've been thinking about child spacing a lot lately — especially when i hear that yet another one of my friends is pregnant with their second. i've also been trying to read up on the "pros and cons" of spacing and only children. it seems that a lot (most?) parents choose to have more than one and put 2-3 years between their children. it's tougher finding stories on children spaced further apart and only children.
i'd love to hear your thoughts / story on this issue.
Well, obviously I can't answer for what I'm going to do, but me and my brother are 6 years apart and it worked really well. We weren't ever in the same school and I was old enough to help my mom and take care of a lot of things myself. My brother and I also never had any sibling rivalry which I think has a lot to do with the age difference. So, I think that a bigger age gap than 2-3 is workable. Me and hubby plan on at least 4 years difference, that way the first is in school and I can enjoy the whole baby experience with the second the same way as the first (well, close to the same). Good luck!
but I have three younger brothers...we are all spaced about 2 years apart.
One day I sat down and did the calculation. My mom had a 6,4, and 2 year old as well as an infant all at the sametime.
I have to say I commend her. I do not know how she managed. My immediate younger brother was an especially difficult child (had serious seperation anxiety), and of course a 2 year old is going to be a 2 year old.
We did have a bit of sibling rivalry growing up, but it only lasted a short while. It was really a lot of fun growing up together actually, because we all pretty much were at the same maturity level growing up and now that we are all young adults, they are pretty much my best buds.
I believe things have really worked out for the best for my parents. We pretty much all went through school at the same time, finished at the same time and left the house at the same time. Now my parents are in there mid to late 50's and are having a BLAST.
I plan to do something similar. I REALLY don't want to be pregnant next year (I need a break) but the year after we are planning on trying for number 2.
god, my husband "jokey-jokey" was talking about another kid and i am definitely NOT ready to think beyond only child.
lilah is really "high-need," and while i love her to pieces and she is getting better all the time, i don't think i could handle another child for at least another two or three years. her stranger anxiety started last month (at four months!) and it does not seem to be getting better. she even cried when my husband held her after he was away on business for a week.
plus she has started scooting and army crawling and i can just tell she is going to be trouble!
I have 3 children, and my spacing varies. Between #1 and #2 was 4.5 years, and between #2 and #3 was only 12 months! Just like Britney.I wouldn't recommend the latter unless you just want to get it all over with. While the 2 younger ones are great friends (mostly), it can be tough. I also would not recomment waiting over 4 years. I think anywhere from 2-3 years is perfect. It's all very personal, though. I have a friend with 5 kids, and they are all perfectly spaced 1.5 years.
Just like Britney.I wouldn't recommend the latter unless you just want to get it all over with. While the 2 younger ones are great friends (mostly), it can be tough. I also would not recomment waiting over 4 years. I think anywhere from 2-3 years is perfect. It's all very personal, though. I have a friend with 5 kids, and they are all perfectly spaced 1.5 years.
