To not bother buying any white clothes for myself for the duration of motherhood...from lactating, to spitup to diarhea diapers....white just isn't right. :(
That my body could be hooked on prenatals for life. Pregnancy seems to have leached every single vitamin and mineral out of me and if I skip a day, I feel dead on my feet.
That you can turn from "Mami I adore" into "jungle gym I want to climb" in a split second.
That sometimes not just a baby pops out of you while you're pushing.
That being said, no one mentioned that I should probably empty my bowels before heavy contractions start.
My main one (and it's really disgusting but needs to be known) is that no one told me about all of the disgusting stuff that will come out of you for about a week after you have the baby. All I can say is stock up on huge honkin' extra long granny pads and nappy underwear!
That no matter how well you burp a baby or how little he may seem to eat, he will make a whole lotta barf. Very often. Usually at the worst time.
That putting a drop or 2 of Mylicon into every single bottle prevents said barf. And tooting, too.
That buying all those really cute baby clothes and matching shoes is really pretty much a waste because you will want to kill the buy who invented snap crotches and crib shoes by the end of the first few weeks. Two words: baby saques
That you might not be in total love at first sight.
That it's okay to think your brand new baby is kinda funny looking and not all that cute.
No one told me the second time around, the aftermath of birth is worse. I did not bloat during the pregnancy but man my second day home I thought something was seriously wrong with me I was SO swollen. And (TMI warning) the other things coming out of my body scared me to death.
No one told me that at 7 weeks post-partum I would probably look 4 months pregnant, and feel 98 years old.
No one told me how as they grow the things that come out of there mouth will make you fight back tears constanly, from pride, joy, anger, etc.
no one told me how excruciating the first few weeks of breastfeeding were. (ie all the lactation consultants: "most mothers enjoy breastfeeding!") no one told me how much energy i would really need to keep up with her.
i second this. my mom decided to tell me after i had been nursing for 6 weeks that all the nipple cream on the world cannot help you. thanks mom
and also something no one ever told me about breastfeeding, was that there will be times when one boob is very noticeably larger than the other. that would have been good to know. half the time i had to walk around with one boob an E and the other a D.
These are great, I don't know how I missed this thread. I thank you guys for saying many of things I have thought. I would like to add mine:
No one told me the birth isn't the worst part, 4 months of colic is.
No one can/will tell me exactly what colic is. Not even my pediatrician.
No one told me how much WORK breastfeeding is, at first.
No one told me that I would get so tired that I had to fight throwing up.
No one told me that I would think a shower plus 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep would be heaven!
No one told me how painful ummm...constipation is. Well except Jenny McCarthy, in her book. The chapter is titled Stonehenge. I didn't believe it then, how naive.
No one told me that crying my eye balls out and hiding it from my husband could be normal.
No one can prepare you for a circumcision(?), but I'm still glad I had it done for my boy.
No one told me I would have to DEFEND my choice for my child (circ.), but I do.
No one told me that once your baby starts sleeping and you feel like some semblance of your life has returned, you will become friends. At lease that is how I felt.
All I can say is stock up on huge honkin' extra long granny pads and nappy underwear!
